Weird Questions I get asked: Ass Pinching

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Rob Thomas
Date: 20 Jan 2008, 10:05 PM


Hi there Emma,
I know this is crazy, but I have a quick question for you. I really need a female opinion.
A female friend of mine was in a club and was harrassed by a guy who pinched her ass several times during the evening. At one point she attempted to slap him but he grabbed her wrists tightly. She tried to pull away but as she struggled the jerk just smiled down arrogantly at her and said "Upper body strength, babe, gotta love it." Unbelievably, the guy made HER apologize for the attempted slap, and when he finally let go she felt humiliated and left.
She feels bad because she did not know how to handle the situation.
As a woman, what is the best way to take care of a guy like this, especially if there was no one around to help you, and you wanted to escape his grasp, and possibly teach him a lesson?
Greatly appreciated,
-Rob
_______________________________________________________

My Reply:

Hey Dude, This is a surprise! Do I look like an ordinary female to you? And how do I know you weren't the primitive arsehole in question trying to prep himself for possible reactions?

Just in case your intentions were good...

What the hell was she doing in a club on her own????? It's a natural fact that blokes are stronger than women, and that many many blokes will take advantage of said fact. Tell her go grow up and get realistic or do a martial art.

*sigh* but since you asked, this is what I'd do.

Guys like that rely heavily on most girls' ingrained desire not to make a fuss. The key to an end to the ass pinching is not personal retaliation (slap = assault that is worse than ass pinching) but public humiliation (then the ass pinching is still the assault). The trick is to turn around, and yell at him to stop, making sure everyone knows he's an ass grabber and making sure everyone knows how many times he's grabbed your particular ass, "That's the third time you've pinched my ass you jerk, cut it out!" is simple and often effective. If he enjoys the loud attention, however, another alternative is to go the club manager and ask that he be removed, why should he spoil your good time? If the manager refused, my next step would be the local paper with the line, "Sexual Harassment ok in my bar, says Club Manager". But I'm like that.

As for wrist gripping, again make it public, scream loudly that you don't know him and to let you go - STRUGGLE LIKE MAD. Again, he's perpetuating the assault, and now he's doing it in public.

Assholes like this get away with their behavior because no one pulls them up on it. The more of them that get publicly humiliated, and the more good blokes step in on behalf of girls who are sexually harassed (disapproval of other blokes is a more powerful deterrent than the disapproval of other women for some reason), the less sad ass pinching dick heads there will be.

Also, for your girl? A martial art that specialized in grip breaking and using your opponents strength against them - Aikido and Judo are two that I know.

Also, my personal take on what to do if a situation like this escalates into a full blown attack on a girl? She should retaliate by trying to kill him.

Yep. Aim for the Kill.

Unless he's excessively weedy and she might win, she should try to hurt him as much as she possibly can. Why? Men are so much more stronger than women it's almost obscene. By attempting to mortally wound him she at least stands a chance of hurting him a bit, if she tries to "just hurt" him she'll get worse than nowhere. So, aim for the kill - remember, he's already trying to hurt her!

Hope this helps.

Cloverfield

I hardly know what to say, other than: if you can, don’t read any reviews, just see it. Preferably see it on a huge screen in gold class (as I did) but be ready to block your ears for the loud bits. The camera work is genius in that it leaves one with a horrible feeling of participation and helplessness. It’s Blair Witch meets Aliens meets bog ordinary love interest. I can’t tell you anymore. Just see it. Oh, but if you don’t like the kinds of movies where lots of people die - don’t see it.

Dumplings

Magnificent Chinese art house. But not for the squeamish. Was the hidden agenda the moral status of the fetus? Or, is cannibalism ok? Or an exploration of the lengths to which people will go to retain their youth? I found a personal journey whereby I discovered I could not find a logical problem with eating an aborted human foetus, yet was physically repulsed by the idea of someone spitting water from their mouth into mine. Go figure. A poignant back story about backyard abortions too (pun intended).

Male Circumcision - my response to CD

Today in The Age, Catherine Deveny had this to say about male circumcision.

http://www.theage.com.au/news/opinion/its-child-abuse-and-its-time-it-was-cut-out/2007/10/23/1192941062383.html?page=fullpage#contentSwap1

Apart from being her usual insulting (but funny) self, she was scarily irresponsible.

When deciding whether or not to circumcise my son ten years ago I had 5 months to read the extensive scientific literature on the subject, I had a biological science degree to back up my understanding and I still did not get through it all. My interest reignited when I first heard of the studies claiming that circumcision helped prevent transmision of HIV in Uganda. (What if the decision not to circumcise was wrong?)

If Catherine Deveny had truly read all of the studies, which I truly doubt she has, she would know that the jury is still out on the subject of circumcision and HIV transmission and that better studies need to be done that control for the involvement of muslim males. To say that there are sutdies that “disprove” the efficacy of circumcision is downright irresponsible given the epidemics in third world regions.

That said, I agree completely with her criticism of the usual arguments people trot out for circumcising their boys. In this country there is every good reason to let your son make up his own mind when he has one to make up.

To those of you comparing the foreskin to the tonsils or appendix as examples of useless organs, your knowledge base is way out of date. The tonsils are now known to be important for the immune system, and the appendix a valuable store of gut flora. The foreskin also has a purpose - to protect the sensitive glans and harbour protective bacteria.

Things go wrong occasionaly with all the human organs, this is not a good reason to rip them out willy nilly at birth. Time to catch up with the medical profession folks.

Sorry about the "cut and paste" links people. At some stage I'll figure out what's what in my template and add enclosure links...

Why Save Your Blogg if it gets published the next day anyway?

I saved that last entry so that I wouldn't have to embarrass myself with all the spelling mistakes. Today it lives. Never mind, best start out with atrocious spelling. I can only improve. Today I've updated my profile and will publish a photo for my viewer (being me). GOD this is narcissistic is it not?

Why Blogg?

This all came about because I was indulging in that height of vanities, googling my own name... E-Blog has cleverly advertised under my name and I was sucked in and created one. Now what though? I do have things to talk about it's true... but do I have the time? What could I possibly say that would not have been said before? If I did say something new, who's to say that it would not be nicked by an unscrupulous author who gets paid to broadcast their thoughts willy nilly? I'm already broadcasting my thoughts willy nilly on Twitter (http://twitter.com/enfox) why double up?

Ooops, have to go pick up the darling boy. See? No time.