Weird Questions I get asked: Ass Pinching

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Rob Thomas
Date: 20 Jan 2008, 10:05 PM


Hi there Emma,
I know this is crazy, but I have a quick question for you. I really need a female opinion.
A female friend of mine was in a club and was harrassed by a guy who pinched her ass several times during the evening. At one point she attempted to slap him but he grabbed her wrists tightly. She tried to pull away but as she struggled the jerk just smiled down arrogantly at her and said "Upper body strength, babe, gotta love it." Unbelievably, the guy made HER apologize for the attempted slap, and when he finally let go she felt humiliated and left.
She feels bad because she did not know how to handle the situation.
As a woman, what is the best way to take care of a guy like this, especially if there was no one around to help you, and you wanted to escape his grasp, and possibly teach him a lesson?
Greatly appreciated,
-Rob
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My Reply:

Hey Dude, This is a surprise! Do I look like an ordinary female to you? And how do I know you weren't the primitive arsehole in question trying to prep himself for possible reactions?

Just in case your intentions were good...

What the hell was she doing in a club on her own????? It's a natural fact that blokes are stronger than women, and that many many blokes will take advantage of said fact. Tell her go grow up and get realistic or do a martial art.

*sigh* but since you asked, this is what I'd do.

Guys like that rely heavily on most girls' ingrained desire not to make a fuss. The key to an end to the ass pinching is not personal retaliation (slap = assault that is worse than ass pinching) but public humiliation (then the ass pinching is still the assault). The trick is to turn around, and yell at him to stop, making sure everyone knows he's an ass grabber and making sure everyone knows how many times he's grabbed your particular ass, "That's the third time you've pinched my ass you jerk, cut it out!" is simple and often effective. If he enjoys the loud attention, however, another alternative is to go the club manager and ask that he be removed, why should he spoil your good time? If the manager refused, my next step would be the local paper with the line, "Sexual Harassment ok in my bar, says Club Manager". But I'm like that.

As for wrist gripping, again make it public, scream loudly that you don't know him and to let you go - STRUGGLE LIKE MAD. Again, he's perpetuating the assault, and now he's doing it in public.

Assholes like this get away with their behavior because no one pulls them up on it. The more of them that get publicly humiliated, and the more good blokes step in on behalf of girls who are sexually harassed (disapproval of other blokes is a more powerful deterrent than the disapproval of other women for some reason), the less sad ass pinching dick heads there will be.

Also, for your girl? A martial art that specialized in grip breaking and using your opponents strength against them - Aikido and Judo are two that I know.

Also, my personal take on what to do if a situation like this escalates into a full blown attack on a girl? She should retaliate by trying to kill him.

Yep. Aim for the Kill.

Unless he's excessively weedy and she might win, she should try to hurt him as much as she possibly can. Why? Men are so much more stronger than women it's almost obscene. By attempting to mortally wound him she at least stands a chance of hurting him a bit, if she tries to "just hurt" him she'll get worse than nowhere. So, aim for the kill - remember, he's already trying to hurt her!

Hope this helps.